Scooter fun

Taking two small beasts out on their scooters on a cold, wet Saturday, taking into consideration that Beast 1 sees his scooter as a form of punishment, and Beast 2 cannot understand the concept of having to use one of his feet to push himself along:

Getting ready to go:
Say ‘where are your helmets’ at least 10 times. Locate helmets and attempt to fit them onto children’s heads amidst hysterical cries of ‘don’t pinch my chin mummy, YOU’RE PINCHING IT AHHHHH YOU’RE PINCHING IT’

Mutter ‘gloves, gloves where are the sodding gloves’ until you find the gloves.

Wrestle gloves onto 4 chubby little hands, each time saying ‘just one finger in each hole, just one… Oh for the love of god just ONE FINGER IN EACH HOLE’

Once out of the house:

‘It’s raining out here’

‘Let’s just get in the car’

‘My head is itchy (wails loudly) and I can’t scratch it!’

‘You carry it mummy’ *mummy takes scooter, prompting furious cries asking why the scooter has been taken away and demanding it back*

‘Why won’t it go’ (mostly because you’re standing on it with both feet and expecting it to move)

When one of them topples off (which they always do)
‘I think my leg is broken’
*dramatic shriek* MY LEG!!!
I don’t want to scoot anymore’
‘He pushed me’
‘You pushed me’
‘Everyone’s pushing me’

When the light on one scooter stops working but the other is perfectly fine: Absolute Pandemonium

Time spent out of the house: 33 minutes

Disapproving glares
from strangers: at least 3

Veering off dangerously
close to the road as both find the idea of steering incomprehensible: every 5 seconds

Wry chuckles and head shakes
from strangers who are very glad their children have grown up and moved out: about 5

Threats to put scooters in bin
/ give to children who don’t whine continually: 4

Times mummy had to threaten summoning The Gruffalo
(because his favourite food isn’t little brown mice as we’ve been led to believe – it’s actually whingy little boys): 2

Successful trip to post box all round then😁😅

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