Old post – The Journey that would never end

An overview of our journey home from Devon with The Beasts. The drive can only be described as one of those time loops you see in movies where everything just repeats itself and the only viable way out appears to be death. Summarised is the sentences used most often:


Mummy? Mummy!
Mummy! Why is daddy driving, not you? Is he being a slow poke?
Are we going back on holibobs?
I need a wee
I need a poo
Do you need a wee and a poo Oscar / Daddy / Mummy
Are we nearly home yet
Shall we watch frozen again?
Can I have more sweets
No I don’t want fruit, I just want sweets
Oscar is kicking the DVD players. HE’S KICKING THEM WITH HIS FEET MUMMY


Mummy. Mummy! MUMMY! (Nothing follows this when mummy responds)
Yellow car!
Yellow van!
Yellow mini! (We actually saw very few yellow cars; clearly they made a impression)
Grandma’s mini
Where’s grandma?
Raffa. Raffa. Grandma and Raffa. Grandma day now?


Can’t you do something to entertain them?
Can you stop him kicking the DVD players
They can’t seriously need a other wee? Stop giving them more juice!
Jesus Christ, look at that idiot / moron / other general expletive not suitable for little ears (gesticulates towards other motorists in a rage)


No more sweets (hands out more sweets approximately three seconds later)
How exactly do you want me to stop him kicking the DVD player, chop off his legs?
*Hisses* ‘language! Do you want them to repeat it again? Do you not remember jasper calling oscar a ‘tunt’?
Yes oscar
Yes Jasper
Another yellow car? Again?
You’re driving too slowly. Let me drive. We’ll be home in half the time
Did we bring any wine back? Is there wine in the boot? Let’s stop at Tesco and get wine

6 hours, lots of traffic and far too many stops later we finally escaped the loop and staggered inside (with wine) No more long drives for a while! 😱🙏

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