Sometimes reality just doesn’t live up to expectations. Particularly where two small beasts are concerned. In these instances reality comes up in front of expectation and goes all chuck Norris on expectation with a roundhouse kick to the face. For example:
Taking them to the supemarket. You have grand visions of two happy children sitting in the trolley gleefully helping you select healthy vegetables. Then reality comes along and you really have two little monsters who pull 4 pint bottles of milk from the shelves and whack other shoppers with rolls of wrapping paper as soon as you turn your back (to furtively lob the jelly tots in the trolley thinking desperately of using them as a bribe). This excursion is also made worse by that awful woman who strolls around casually with not one but TWO sleeping children in her trolley, perfect hair and make up and laughing delicately whist purchasing her quinoa – making you wonder what sorcery she has been practicing (or what she’s drugged the children with)
Rice for dinner. I’m not sure this one needs an explanation other than it took about three seconds for the rice bomb to go off and about three hours to clean up.
Potato shapes and poster paint. First there’s the cutting of the shapes and the ‘please don’t chop your fingers off’ then there’s the five seconds of actual painting / stamping followed by a further five minutes of general smearing / lobbing / eating raw paint covered potato when mummy’s not looking. And then they’re bored, and absolutely plastered, but insistent that the soggy potato starch covered paper is stuck to the fridge IMMEDIATELY
Soft play centres. Every parent goes with the intention of letting their little angel(s) run off and play while they sit and drink a hot cup of tea and abuse the free wifi. 5 seconds after arriving however ,and every 10 minutes or so after that, you are approached by passive aggressive parents pointing in the direction of your beasts and asking ‘is he yours’ (standard fare in this situation is to laugh nervously, say, ‘no I think HIS parents are over there’ and scuttle away as far and as fast as you can hoping that they won’t then find you again – after all, you can’t leave yet, having taken out a small mortgage to pay for entry
As this can all happen in just the one day is it any wonder mummy cracks open the wine at 5pm 😱😬🍷
It’d be great to see some feedback and comments so if you want to find beastlyboys’ Facebook page it’s at
Liking and sharing would be much appreciated 😊 or add a comment at the bottom of this post so I know your thoughts (or be awesome and do both 😉) Thanks!